Lord, Hear My Prayer

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Adele - Someone Like You

This is my favorite song by her.

"Someone Like You"
I heard That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now
I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you
Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

“Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes is hurts instead.”

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Adele – Rolling in the Deep

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Adele – Amazing Singer, Talent, and a Real Beauty!

Whenever I listen to her, she brings out my passion.

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Gravity by Sara Bareilles

I came across this song accidentally and somehow it has really touched my soul!

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Angel’s Wings

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The Gift of Love and Friendship!

The Gift of Love and Friendship!

My heart is so filled with love right now.  With just one email, my dear girlfriend “K” changed my whole outlook about the spirit of the season.  I'm going to savor the peace of mind knowing that I have such a special friend in my life.  One who loves me and doesn't take advantage of me, who recognizes my faults and doesn't care about them, lifts me up when I am down and even carries me on her wings at the times when I cannot fly.  She has an ability to make me laugh when I’m going through very difficult times.

She is My Gift  - my Earth Angel – sent to me by God to ease my path home.  I love you “K”!!!

************************************************************

This is my Christmas present from “K” that had me squealing, screaming, and crying this evening.  I will never forget her thoughtfulness and generosity of heart!  (AND…. A huge thank you to Randy Owen and his wife Kelly!)  For those of you who don’t know, I love country music and am a fan of the group Alabama!

An autographed copy of Randy Owen's newly released book, Born Country.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

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Wintersong

"Wintersong"
The lake is frozen over
The trees are white with snow
And all around
Reminders of you
Are everywhere I go
It's late and morning's in no hurry
But sleep won't set me free
I lie awake and try to recall
How your body felt beside me
When silence gets too hard to handle
And the night too long
And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by
Oh I miss you now, my love
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas, my love
Sense of joy fills the air
And I daydream and I stare
Up at the tree and I see
Your star up there
And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by

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You’re the Only Exception by Paramore

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist
But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
Ohh---
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

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Someone Else’s Heart by Kina Grannis

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Michael Buble – End of May

A golden haze,
Another morning feels like yesterday.
End of may…
Now you’re gone and there’s still bills to pay.
And you know it doesn’t help to make believe, you’re sitting next to me.
It doesn’t help, to make believe that you are right behind me
Saying it’s okay.
Longer days,
More time to sit and watch the pendulum sway.
In quiet rage I’m staring at this empty notebook page.
In times like these you feel like you are done with feeling,
You feel you want to stop the pain from healing
Because you feel like you’re the only one who’s ever felt this way.
Some days in a daze, there’s brighter days.
Funny how the feeling never stays,
But I know I’ll have to come to terms when I’m awake,
Thinking about you is the icing on the cake.
Makes me realize the fact you’re gone for good for goodness sake.


Golden haze, another morning feels like yesterday.
End of may, a year is gone and I still feel this way,
When we meet again I’ll ask you how you’re doing
And you’ll say fine and ask me how I’m doing
And then I’ll lie and I’ll say ordinary, It’s just an ordinary day.


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Love On My Mind

The answer might be right in front of you.  Feel your panic.  Feel your frustration.  But keep your eyes and your heart open, the answer may be closer than you think – maybe it’s right in front of you.

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Open Message to My Blogger Friend – She knows who she is!

Hi My Blogger Friend,

I’m sorry I haven’t been around in blogland much these past few months, but I have caught up on your all your postings as of tonight.

I debated on whether to give you some advice this time around, and the advice-o-meter tilted! LOL

It’s strange, there are so many times when I come to your blog and read what has been going on with you. Sometimes I feel like I replaying certain parts of MY life and MY past while listening/reading your experiences.

I too had the situation where I was in a relationship with a man that was not supportive and unwilling to compromise in regards to my agoraphobia, panic and anxiety attacks. I finally got so fed up with him that I broke it off, and then felt bad because he begged me to stay with him and that he would try to be more supportive, etc., etc. Three months later, he cheated on me and dumped me. I was soooo devastated!! I had the control and inner strength to finally break up, but he was so good at manipulating me into staying with him, only to be dumped over the phone. What’s with that?

Needless to say, I allowed him to bulldoze my self esteem, self confidence, and inner strength,

I hope you don’t mind, but there are a few things I would like to share with you that I have learned from this experience.

1.) Grieve. Grieve as though there is no possibility of ever seeing or running into him again.

2.) After about 2-3 weeks of grieving, gather up all the stuffed animals, gifts, trinkets, and pictures and put them in a box. Give this box to your parents to put in the basement, but not tell you where it is.

3.) Breathe. Walk out your door, stand in your yard, and tilt your head up to the sky and Breathe! Let the sky engulf your every essence….then…. consciously decide to Let Go! The feeling of letting go of this toxic relationship does not come easy and takes a good long while. You have memories, good and bad, but the good memories are an illusion. If you think back to almost every good memory with him, you realize that you were the one who made the good memory happen. You are the one who compromised. You are the one who was manipulated. How often did he actually contribute to any of your happy memories? You probably had made sooo many sacrifices to achieve that happy memory. Think about how many of those happy moments turned quickly into you being upset, disappointed, feelings of emptiness, not feeling good enough, desperately wanting to please, and eventually completely exhausted from all of the compromising, sacrifices, and excuses you have made for each disappointment; only to cry yourself to sleep. How many times did you make a bargain with yourself that it will work itself out – only for the pattern to start all over again.

4.) Eventually, you should be feeling a little stronger and you will start to find some clarity.

G’s not a bad guy. He’s just not capable of being the man that you need. But because we agoraphobics feel that we’re not in a position to meet very many men, we hold on tight to the dysfunctional ones because we feel like that’s all we’re going to get. (Even if we are pretty!)

YOU are where you are at in life right at this moment for a reason. You are becoming more enlightened and he knew he was losing you. He manipulated you into taking him back because he felt you were getting stronger and more assertive with how you wanted the take control of the direction your life is going to go in, and he couldn’t handle that it wasn’t going his way he wanted and/or that you weren’t agreeing with everything HE wanted for you. So, most of your relationship was a struggle back and forth, right?

Now that you understand (reluctantly) that you’re relationship was dysfunctional and not nurturing, you can eventually move on and focus on yourself…. your health, your well-being, your future, etc. You’ll be amazed at how freeing it is to not have to have the argument about the phobia, panic attacks, your limited lifestyle, depression. It will be such a relief that you can eventually put your guard down.

He was in your life for a reason. His personality, the relationship, the companionship, the baby, the agoraphobia, the triumphs and disappointments, all the good, all the bad…. you were meant to learn these lessons and carry forward in life with them.

Eventually, you will have an epiphany. You do not need him or ANY man for that matter. But, you will eventually WANT a man in your life and because of everything you have gone through with G--ry, you will be able to choose someone who will be mature. You might go through a few frogs before you find the prince, but I guarantee you will find an amazing man who will accept you for ALL that you are!

It’s time for you to admit a few things to yourself (not bloggers.) It’s OKAY to have agoraphobia, panic attacks, anxiety, and all that other sucky stuff we have to deal with. It makes us the special women that we are. I think you will find that once you stop feeling guilty for what are society has labeled as inadequacy and being different, you will then realize how great and worthy a woman you are! Idiosyncrasies and all. We see and experience things that the average person could NEVER understand, deal with, and survive. Every panic attack, every anxiety attack, and all the negative self-talk crap we go through just to get our asses out the door to breathe and feel like a part of this world, is taking us one step closer to that exclusive club in heaven called “The AgoraBitches Club.”

With Sincere Kindredship,

P.S. If you have a better name for the club, let me know!! LOL!!

 

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Angel of Hope

 

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It Stops Today - Fight the Fear

 

Click Play to listen!

No, no, I, I, I, I, I don't want to break when I speak
I don't want to shake while I'm standing
I don't want to crawl into another hole
I don't know what I'm hiding for
No, I, I, I, I, I don't want to fall when I stand
I don't want to have to hold your hand
I just want to be the girl I use to be when I was me and worry free
I know these burnings on my own
(Chorus)
But I can't keep on running
No I just can't keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to be is to fight my every fear
I'm not going to make it 'til I turn around and face it alone, I know
I can't just keep running, no I just can't keep on running away
So it stop today
(End of chorus)
So here I am, I'm taking my first step
Thought I was losing balance but I caught myself
I kind of like the challenge, no I don't need help
I'm going to make it past the very start
It's always been my hardest part
But I, I, I, I, I'm going to stay in control
I must admit this crutch is getting old
I am going to throw it out of my hand
I'm finally here, I understand
I know I'll get there on my own
(Chorus)
So I can't keep on running
No I just can't keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to be is fighting my every fear
I'm not going to make it 'til I turn around and face it alone, I know
That I can't keep running, no I just can't keep on running away
So it stop today
(End of chorus)
(Bridge)
You can hide from all the pain
But it will find you anyway
Yes, I know, now I know
(Chorus)
That I can't keep on running
No I just can't keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to be is fighting my every fear
I'm not going to make it till I turn around and face it alone, I know
That I can't just keep running, no I just can't keep on running away
……….so it stops today!

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A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a god-send, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, your desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Regardless of whether the people in your life are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime, go show them that you love them!

~Author Unknown

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SMILE ~ Though you’re heart is breaking

For a Special Friend …….
         Butterflies and Sunshine Forever! 

Composed by Charlie Chaplin
Sang by Michael Jackson
(watch in full screen mode)

 

Love you!

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♫ Bitter Heart ♫

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♫ Someone You Used to Know ♫

Zee Avi
Beautiful original song

It was helpless anyway
There's nothing much we could do or say
Darling don't you think it's a shame?
that it had to end this way
So here's to say goodbye,
our love is lost, and we cant figure why
maybe it really is about time
that we finally made up our minds
So Darling, here's to you
i hope that when you find someone new
that she would always be true to you
to love and understand you
Soon you'll build new memories
then slowly you'd forget about me
then i would slowly be
a distant memory
**Soon I'll just be
that someone you used to know
But darling you will thank me
for letting you go
time is not for wasting
i hope you'll find your intended
But I'm sorry
that your intended isn't me
it's not an easy thing
to shake off our history
i know that's what you want from me
but they will always stay with me
i admit i made mistakes
but darling with you it's just the same
if we stay there will be more to make
i don't know how much more we can take
Darling, it would be unfair
to stay with something no longer there
but it doesn't mean i no longer care
but I'd feel like a burden you can't bear

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Jealousy

I think we all need to be reminded from time-to-time.

Jealousy exposes the limits of our love. Combining elements of egoism, greed, sex, instinct, and fear.  Jealousy forms a potent and poisonous cocktail that drains our energy, enslaves our inner world, harms our relationships, causes suspicion and mistrust, and is sometimes based on a misinterpretation. (Inner Frontier)

Proverbs 14:30
”A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.”

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