Thursday, June 5, 2008

Heal Your Fear of Abandonment

I was give an inspirational book by my dearest and oldest friend Denise. Journey of the Heart by Melody Beattie. You must buy yourself this book and get several more for gifts.

Heal Your Fear of Abandonment ~

Some say the fear of abandonment is a universal fear. It's common to most people in most places. It is that anguishing, heartbreaking moment when we believe someone is going to leave us. For many of us, the fear began when some important person did leave or abandon us - physically or emotionally. Now the very thought of it happening again terrifies us.

Although the fear may be universal, if we have it, it still belongs to us. It needs to be faced, felt, acknowledged, and released - it needs to be healed - or else it may control our lives and harm our relationship.

Sometimes we may fear being abandoned so much that we don't want anyone to leave us - even people we don't like - because it triggers that old familiar feeling. If we don't deal with it, however, people can use it against us. All they have to do is threaten to leave and we crumble, acquiesce at the mere thought of feeling that way again.

Underneath the fear of abandonment another fear my lurk too, a deeper fear, the fear that somehow we've made the people we love go away. Sometimes in our lives, certain people have had to go away, because that is where their path led them. But if they felt confused, guilty, or uncertain about the leaving, they may have lied to us. They may have told us we did something wrong, we caused the separation, it was our fault they were leaving. And their lie became embedded in us.

Did someone tell that lie to you? Tell yourself something different. Tell yourself the truth. You don't make people go away. You weren't the cause. If someone needed to leave you, that was his or her choice.

Heal your fear of abandonment.
Set yourself and other free.
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Anonymous said...

Hey Melisa-
Thank you so much for coming up tonight and spending some "girl" time together. I wish we did that more often. I read your blog. How awesome the excerpts from the book are! I think anyone could use it to really help them out of an abandonment hang up.

Your homemade cards are AWESOME! I so don't have to patience for something like that.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post.

All my best,

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